If I said you had to do something perfectly, what would that mean to you?
What is your current definition of ‘perfect’ as you apply that term to yourself, your life and your actions?
Through many years of working with clients and being a person myself, I have noticed something that I now find astounding: We are all born with an innate knowing of we learn through trial and correction. If I were to suggest that you to touch your nose with your index finger (and then you did it), this was only possible due to your brain’s commitment and success with trial and correction in the past. When you were first born you didn’t even know you had hands. I’ve had the pleasure of raising two children and being there when they worked out that the things that were moving in front of their faces were part of their own body and they could start learning to control them. As with anything we try for the first time, it generally needs some correcting before it becomes seamless and easy. As children, learning to move our hands, sit up, crawl, talk etc., we understood, without any personal judgments, the process of trialing and correcting until we finally got there.
And here’s the astounding part – we reach some moment later in life were all of sudden trail and correction is no longer OK. We expect to get it right, perfectly right, the very first time and if we don’t then we feel embarrassed and ashamed (or even worse . . . don’t apply what we learned and keep on trying!).
I have a lot of teachers as clients. People who are not teachers sometimes have delusions about it being a very cruisy job with great holidays but believe me, it can actually be a very stressful job and thank goodness so many of them get support or a lot more children would be being yelled at on a daily basis. Anyway, the point of bringing up teachers is because I’ve asked a lot of them “what makes a perfect student?” and the answer is always the same. The perfect student is one that is willing to try and keep on trying throughout the trial and correction. The perfect student is one who keeps an open mind and keeps believing in their ability to learn.
Are you willing to be a perfect student in your life?
Are you willing to realise that most of the valuable skills you’ve learned in your life have come through the process of trial and correction?
Becoming an adult does not change the way our brains operate. To create financial abundance, great relationships and all other adult life skills takes a willingness to re-embrace trial and correction.
In the words of Katherine Woodward Thomas in her book “Calling in the One”, she writes: “When we value life from the perspective of what we’ve learned, then failure is redefined. As there is no greater teacher than a missed opportunity and no greater lesson than the lesson of love gone awry, then those of us who have failed the most might also be the wisest and most compassionate among us”.
Her book is a 7-week course going through a lot of personal development in order to embrace true love into one’s life. Her message above is about understanding that all past relationships have been the catalyst to arriving at the perfect point of being ready for “The One” but I think it’s relevant to all of life’s experiences.
Taking all of that into account, what can be your new definition of ‘perfect’?
From my perspective, every day that we learn is a perfect day.
“It’s the beginning
Every day’s the beginning
It’s up to me to choose
Who I am and where I’m going to . . .”
“Love’s Alive” track on musical affirmation CD “Positively Funky”